It’s 4 o’clock in the morning. The time changed last night and I remember being 20 and thinking how amazing it is. I’m not sure if I’m dreaming or it’s real. I hope it’s just a dream.. but then I realize it’s not as the kink in my neck, my sore back from sleeping in my toddler’s bed starts to come to life…

I hear this tiny annoying voice get louder and louder. I say “it’s still night time” in a groggy voice. The little voice is persistent. “Mommy I really want chocolate milk.” Making chocolate milk seemed like a really good idea to wean my 1.5 year old at the time but now my four year old’s voice is changing to a whiney tone and he’s getting upset.

Then the 1.5 year old pops her head up and I shout cuss words in my head as I get up and march to the coffee steamer. Yes~ once again I’m kicking myself for my first time mom ignorance at steaming my son’s milk. But I do it anyway. I grab coconut milk for me and organic milk for my son. I steam his milk and add honey- this is what he thinks is his “chocolate milk” … The poor kid someday will be floored to learn what real chocolate milk really tastes like. I hand him his milk and a banana to my 1.5 year old who ended up hating all milk except mamas milk. I steam my “milk” and add maple syrup to my liking, pumpkin spice, a couple spoonfuls of pureed pumpkin, and a shot of expresso or two and my 4 o’clock in the am isn’t feeling so bad anymore.