If only I could hit the pause button.

Today I fed my 6 month baby boy solids for the first time. Just writing this brings tears to my eyes. He is ready for solids, but I am not. I’m not ready to share him. I love that I am all he needs to be happy and healthy. For 9 months he thrived in my body and then for 6 months he thrived off of the milk my body provided for him. It’s beautifully amazing. Aside from having 2 natural births, breastfeeding is the most empowering thing I have ever done. For 15 months I have been all he needs in life. I am his everything and he is my barnacle. It’s perfect. I had no idea breastfeeding would have such an impact on my soul. I always knew I would breastfeed because I believe it’s the healthiest thing I could do for my baby and myself. But I had know idea until I breastfed my first how much it would light up my soul. I breastfed Zoey for two glorious years, and now my little man. Such a blessing.

My all time favorite breastfeeding photo with Zo.

I could live in this moment forever.

While it was ridiculously adorable to watch him eat for the first time, and of course he loved every bite, it was hard. I am in no rush for my last baby to grow up. With my first kid I couldn’t wait for all of the firsts and milestones. Probably trying things too soon. She was naturally on the fast track. She still is. I was constantly on the lookout and researching what I could try next with her. I had no idea with my first child that the first few months are the calm before the storm. I know eating is just the beginning to everything happening like a domino effect. Eating, sitting up, crawling, standing, first steps, first words and more solid food than breast milk. It happens too fast. This is why we always hear our elders telling us to enjoy it, because before we know it they are grown. I want to stop time with him. Hit the pause button. Life is so busy. A never-ending of everything. Cuddling up with Jack in the rocker to feed him is my most peaceful part of the day and night. The way he places his palm on my heart, or reaches up to grab my lips, giving me a nipple-filled smirk, and then eventually falling asleep in my arms is heaven. I don’t take this for granted. I know I will love every milestone and all of his firsts, but like I said, this is my last and I am in no rush.