It was a little after he turned one that I started suspecting something was going on with EV. He wasn’t interested in food at all, and when he did try to eat solid food he would either choke or projectile vomit- or both. When I brought up my concerns to our pediatrician, he suspected it was a severe case of acid reflux and told me he would grow out of it. Well, by 18 months he was still vomiting daily, and this is when I started noticing that he was pretty far behind in his speech. I brought up my concerns at his 18 month check up, but left feeling like I didn’t quite get my point across that I thought something might be very wrong with my baby. I was told to just wait it out; that he was probably just a slow learner, and he’ll eventually catch up in his own time. I knew in my gut that Evander was different. But a part of me was so scared to find out. I battled everyday with myself with the thoughts that he was fine- just wait a little longer to see if he’s a slow developer- and then the other part of me screaming that I was being a bad mom for not scouring the world for answers. I was frightened for him. And me. And my family.

My mom was the biggest factor for finally pushing me into the scary unknown world of Apraxia. She would call every single day and ask if I had made those phone calls to the speech therapists or if I had contacted the Early Childhood Intervention division. She had been a special education teacher for years and her knowledge of children with disabilities strengthened me and encouraged me to finally seek answers. At three years old, I took Evander to his first(of many) evaluations. After hours of torturous testing, the therapists diagnosed him with Apraxia of Speech. I was suddenly thrust into a world of speech therapy, eating therapy, and occupational therapy. I researched everything I could about his diagnosis.I spent many nights crying for my son because I didn’t know what his future would hold for him. I realized though, that I was having a pity party for myself. Evander is a happy, loving, smart little three old boy who just wants to have fun and play! I needed to just pull myself up and go forward with hope and positive outlook on his disability. I became his biggest advocate. Evander is now four years old and goes to a special education preschool where he gets one on one personalized therapy everyday. The process of getting him an IEP took months of more testing and evaluations, and the process was extremely frustrating, but it has been the best thing to ever happen to him. He has made so much progress since starting his special preschool. Every little achievement is celebrated like he just won a gold medal in the olympics!  There’s nothing I love more than seeing him overcome an obstacle in his disability. I have a special place in my heart now for parents with disabled children. It is really hard work. It’s hard emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. We have to be strong even when everything around us seems to be crashing down, and there’s no end in sight or so many questions that can’t get answered. It can be very overwhelming. That’s why it’s so important to talk about your struggles with your family, therapists, friends, and even support groups online.

We are learning as a family how to live and communicate with someone who is nonverbal. It requires an immeasurable amount of patience, and my boys impress me everyday with their ability to treat Evander like there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him. A couple weeks ago as I was walking my boys home from school, a man came running out of the office and said he needed to tell me something. He is a guest speaker who goes to the school every Wednesday and holds a community meeting with the children where they get to discuss topics, ideas, and opinions openly with each other. That day they talked about bullying. He told me that Maddox explained to the group that you should always be kind no matter what because sometimes you don’t know what hardships and struggles some kids are going through because they look fine on the outside. He explained that his little brother has a disability that makes it hard for him to talk and behave, but you would never know by just looking at him, and he just wants to be like everyone else. I cried all the way home. I’m tearing up even now trying to write this story. And Remington loves to try and teach Evander new words- especially words like butt, fart, and any other potty word you can think of! It seriously warms my heart though so much when I hear one of the boys get excited if EV says a word they are teaching him. And Garrett. The love and compassion that my husband gives this little boy is endless. I truly believe Evander was meant just for me, Garrett, Maddox, and Remington. Our little family has forever been changed by Evander. He brings us so much joy and laughter everyday. Because he lacks the ability to speak, his personality has been magnified a million times, and we all just love him so much.