Meet Alexis~

I am a classy dame who enjoys the finer things in life like PlayDoh and discounted cheeses from Grocery Outlet. I like black coffee, whiskey on the rocks, and dive bars (or at least I used to). I live in a gorgeous home in the forest with our cat Juicy and my amazing catch of a fiance. He is a world traveling, adventures seeker who designs and creates prothetic legs for a living. He is quite possibly the most interesting man in the world.

We have a little “farm” complete with beehives, chickens, vegetable garden, and fruit trees. I work in Special Education as an instructor in the classroom and also as a personal assistant for people who make too much money. I think my biggest strength as a mom will be my sense of humor and my flexibility. My fiance is the yin to my yang (so to speak) so I know our child will have the best of both worlds.

Describe your pregnancy so far… What has been surprising to you?

Well, I am at 38 weeks today so I don’t have much further to go! I’m not sure if I’m more excited or terrified. My pregnancy has been fairly rough although I don’t have much to compare it to. I’ve kind of gone on about my life and have continued to work 2 jobs, actually I’m working now so don’t tell my boss :). I was surprised that I’ve had every pregnancy ailment known to man, or rather, woman. Heartburn, headaches, backaches, swelling, gestational diabetes, the list goes on…Women sometimes tell me, “Oh my gosh, you look great, you’re all baby!” and I tell them it’s probably only because I’ve been puking my guts out for 8 months straight.

How do you related to other women?

Well, I don’t really. I mean, not your “typical” ones. I always heard women gushing about how beautiful every little thing about pregnancy is, and talking about how the theme of their nursery is “pink pony fairyland” and squealing over tiny newborn sandals. I’m all over here with my head in the toilet thinking… “but newborns can’t walk…”

I think there’s a big stigma with pregnant women thinking they have to act all angelic and sweet otherwise people will assume they will be bad mothers. Sometimes I LOVE being pregnant, but other times I think it sucks or I think to myself “Holy hell, what if we made a huge mistake?” I know I can’t be alone in that feeling but you feel like you shouldn’t talk about that…or the huge hemorrhoids that are ruining your life! It’s not all daisies and cupcakes, so for the rare pregos that do embrace all the gross unpleasantries and keep it real; I salute you!

Can you elaborate a little more about your work? How has this influenced your perception of children?

I have worked in Special Education for the past nine years with children from ages 3 to 18. I absolutely love it but have also developed fairly low standards. Haha! Sounds horrible but I mean it in a good way! If there’s one thing I’ve learned about children, it’s that they will never do exactly what you expect them to. Even in the most “predictable” situations, there will always be something that you didn’t plan for, i.e. “Here’s an ice cream cone I got you for being such a good listener today!” Then they throw themselves on the floor screaming “I HATE you! I HATE ice cream!” and then they try to bite you on the ankle. You just never know! I’ve learned to embrace it by pretty much throwing expectations and hard plans out the window. Therefore any little moment of success in the chaos is that much more beautiful. You have to decide to be happy regardless of what happens. Not to say that I don’t have ANY standards or believe in consistency, as I absolutely do, especially when it comes to behavior. But I know that being genuinely open and happily going with the flow has made me a good teacher, and hopefully it will make me a good mother too!

What are some concepts that you feel will dominate your child rearing vibes?

Considering how we were both raised, I know that being outdoorsy is going to be the biggest aspect of our little family. It actually sickens me to see small children with iPhones Snap-chatting or whatever it is kids do these days. It makes them look like tiny little jerks and I think it robs them of a childhood. Some of my best memories are of my brother and I “playing Indians,” pardon me; “Native Americans”. We’d camouflage our faces with dirt, try to make snares and teepees and sneak around the forest spying on no one in particular. (By the way, I’d still be doing this if it were socially acceptable). My mom used to quite literally lock us outside every day so we had to use something called our “Imagination”. Our child will be forced to develop one of these…by any means necessary. If he wants and iPad, he can make one out of cardboard.

Why not paddle board? The belly helps with balance.

You’ve shared some funny stories with us about your pregnancy experiences… I believe you call them “Pregnancy Feelings”? Can you share a few of them with our readers?

Ah, yes. I am told my “Pregnancy Feelings” are some of my best work. They are only funny ’cause they are true! Here are a couple favorites:

Pregnancy feelings #2 “At just over 3 months along and barely showing, my sense of entitlement at the airport is relentless. No upgrade to first class? Unacceptable. Carrying my own bag? Inexcusable. No Cinnabon at the terminal? I’ll kill you.”

Pregnancy feelings #19: “I miss the days where I would simply be able to shift positions without making embarrassing guttural sounds like a dying manatee”.

Describe yourself in 3 words:

Creative. Sarcastic. Unique.

Describe your pregnancy in 3 words:

Exciting. Terrifying. Short.

Describe your partner in 3 words:

Outdoorsy. Organized. Original.

What do you have to say to your non-pregnant self a year ago? What would you say to yourself in a year from now?

To me last year: “Start doing your Kegels now!”

In a year from now I’ll probably be saying: “What they hell were we thinking?!”

Alexis! Thank you for the humor laced with honestly with a twist of sweetness.

Since the interview was received, Alexis has had a beautiful boy. And then there were three. And she was much mushier than she thought she was going to be! She is working on her own blog to be released soon!!