I remember when, I remember I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that place. Even when your emotions have an echo in so much space…
Seriously, can “Crazy” be the new “Cool”? I’m feeling a tad spinny, a smidge loco, and I’ve been giggling through my day. Between deep breaths. Maybe I have officially lost it. I think I am okay with that. We just had an adventurous weekend camping, then landed home to unpack to reality and off to early work this morning. Things are picking up in the business section of my life, and the buzz is so stimulating. Life is good, flowing, overflowing. I just. Can’t. Stop. Thinking. Moving. What’s next?
After I read the novel On the Road as a fresh young adult at 16, I have always had the famous Jack Kerouac quote running through my head … now is no exception…
“the only people for me are the mad ones, mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everyone goes “aww!”
It’s not that they are the only ones for me, but I get it. I am a mad one. I know it. I am desirous of everything at the same time. Pretty much always. Patience is not my thing. I will make dinner, have a dance party, and stain redwood within 18 minutes. Because I have to. Because I want to. We all have to do lists. I’m not busier than you. I’m not keeping track nor comparing my list to you. It is a part of my life energy force “to do”. It’s not about the Joneses. They don’t live in my village. My life is full, and I am blessed. I got home from work tonight and made a strong cup of chamomile to chill the bleep out and calm the gears in my brain. In between dinner and redwood staining and blogging. The tea is halfway working.
There are some exciting things happening right now. Lots of new details. Life is full. Life is crazy. Six loads of clean laundry are sitting right behind me. I’m literally surrounded by baskets and piles. It’s all good. Wrinkles are in. Because I said so. I volunteered to take over the school garden last week. That’s cool. I can handle it. It needed about 20 hours put into it about 2 months ago, and I’m gonna figure out how to tend to it now that’s it’s my responsibility. And I just can’t wait! Fun is making me feel a little crazy too. This is our happy week- my husband’s birthday, our 11th wedding anniversary (17 together! OH MY GOSH!), and Father’s Day every year within a week. Fun=crazy. We are also going away (without the kids!) for a night in 2 nights and we don’t have that planned yet. But we will sleep in. Together. Suddenly I’m feeling a little more normal now. The chamomile tea must be kicking in.
Many clients discuss their sleeping problems with me~ “I just CAN’T turn my brain OFF”. I am with you. Right now. Good thing it’s early evening. Taking another large gulp of chamomile tea. A deep breath in. Focus. Exhale. And, I’m jumping, excitedly towards the list… Or maybe I’ll just dig through the basket(s) for some clean pajamas and snuggle under a blanket reading The Rosie Project.
Decisions, decisions.